Why Holiday Decorating is Hard


Have you ever noticed that every year the festive decorations are impossible to set up? It’s easily traced you know. He sees you when  your sleeping....

By now you have most likely shoved your tree into a fire, or sent your menorah into its box. This is where your trouble begins. I myself celebrate Christmas, so it will be told from my holidays point of view.

When undecorating the tree you must strip it of all its little ornaments, lights, and tinsel. Many throw the tinsel away with the tree. (There’s you’re missing tinsel). The ornaments are shoved into a box wrapped in Newspaper. (The Newspaper makes no protection at all.) Now, the lights.

Some people just rip off the lights and shove them in a dark, cardboard box. Others try to wrap them in order to make them easier to un-roll the following year. This is actually how the situation gets worse. People use their arms to wrap the lights, then they remove the newly formed roll and place it in the box. With nothing to block them, the little lights slink into each other and over the course of the time in the box they will stick to each other in the tangled mess. Then any number of lights will be stacked onto that pile, thus creating the tangled hoard every year. Once everything has been put into its respective box, it gets worse.Trouble brewing....Most decorations get shoved into the basement in one little area. The owner believing that they will be able to find the collection of glittering magic the next year, but when the time comes they must search. This is caused by moving things in the basement. It starts right after you put everything away. Say, you put all of the decorations in one area in frontĀ  of a small pile of summer stuff and St.Patty’s day stuff. This is when you create your own personal hell.

When St.Patty’s day arrives you must move some of the x-mas junk away to grab it. You split it in half, leaving one half in front of your old Television set and the rest still in front of the summer junk. When St.Patty’s is over and your sober enough to do so, you put the St.Patty’s junk wherever. (It also has a few empty beer cans included, making the mold you see every year. It’s not your spouses fault, it’s yours.)Stop blaming others man.

Now it’s May and you need your old Television which is now located behind a massive pile of holiday knickknacks. In order to obtain said electronic wonder, you must divide the Christmas decorations again. Now throughout your basement you have 3 different piles of Christmas decorations. When you put the T.V. back, it goes in front of one of them.

It’s now Summer, and you need your plastic chairs currently located behind a pile of decorations. Dived, access chairs, forget about decorations. Congrats, you now have four piles. It’s the end of Summer, chairs go back in. Right in front of a pile of Christmas decorations. So, here’s the run down. You now have four (4) piles of decorations, two (2) of which are blocked. Your lights have bonded together, and your wrapping paper is god-only-knows where. There’s your problem.It's bad.

There is absolutely no way to stop this mess. In-fact, every year you do try to stop. The thing is after moving things in and out of the basement feel no reason to go back and organize it. It takes to much work and you have better things to do. You could spend a weekend fixing the mess but somehow it will come crashing down. It did for me. It will for you.

Bonus points! If you have a fake tree, each piece will be in a different room.

***Glasses Guy***

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