Scary Things Women Say

Honey, can you do [Insert chore Here] (Honey do list)

Honey, did you remember [insert birthday/anniversary/kids at school]

She never tells you any of this stuff until she’s absolutely sure the information would mean nothing to you at the moment. Like the day before. Or after is more likely.

Since when?

This is tasty. Eat it.

Since when have you not liked my cooking?

We need to talk…

That’s never good news.

I’m thinking about kids.

Meet your new money sucker!

Does this make my butt look big?

[Just search up “baby got back”.]

We love you, we don’t care what your butt looks like. (And what if said dude likes big butts?)

I really like that [Dress/pair of jeans/coat/bed/movie/car/house]

You hear that? That’s the sound of your money disappearing.

I WANT YOUR BABIES JIGGLING INSIDE ME!

[Censored]

This… I….. maybe it means… I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Here, have some eye bleach.

You might need this.

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