How to Make a Fox News Cast

Step One 1. Find a completely stupid subject that people don’t understand

“Orange coffee cups”

Step Two 2. Connect it to either Child Abuse, Child Obesity, war, or sexual disputes. Diseases work too.

“Orange coffee cups support Child Abuse”

Step Three 3. Connect it to an either extremely generic American name, and/or a strange foreign name.

“Yesterday, it was proven that Orange coffee cups support Child Abuse. Mustapha Alcazakabartizno Moshmoptra Derp admitted to beating his young daughter after using an Orange coffee cup.

And the doctor…

Dr. Bob Robinson stated, “The orange infuriates the brain cells, creating a fit of rage. This rage is typically focused on small objects, such as children.”

Step Four. Get a public official to comment

“Lord Lordington stated”,”Wow. I hate coffee cups that are orange.”

Step Five. ?????????????? O’Reilly?????????????

Step Six. Profit off of the ensuing panic.

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One response to “How to Make a Fox News Cast

  1. dude, fox news talks about things that matter.
    and about stories that make us feel good.
    so… suck it.

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