Yorkies ARE For Girls


Have any of you ever devoured a Yorkie? They’re so fluffy and warm…
Wait…
Never mind that, I’m speaking of the candy bar. Today I wandered into the local British Shop and helped myself to a Yorkie. Remember, I’m from Muricah. I had no idea what in God’s name a Yorkie was. The tagline is “Not for girls.” so I figured it must be one manly candy bar. I was disappointed. It’s just a chocolate bar sectioned into five break away sections. This made me wonder why it’s just for men.

Yes, the Yorkie is one damn big chocolate bar, but I couldn’t get past that in my head. “Big is MANLY!” is an old stereotypical thing for guys. But it doesn’t make sense on this candy bar. If the company is going to be stereotypical, then they should look at all the possibilities. According to every movie/comic/form of stereotypical media available, girls will eat two things when they’re sad. Ice-cream, and chocolate. (Usually death by chocolate ice-cream to kill two birds with one stone.) Not only will they eat it, they’ll devour it. Their sadness is portrayed as a black hole. Never filled, but always wanting more to fill the void.

That’s the stereotype, anyways. Chocolate is a happy thing. If ANYONE is sad, they’ll normally go for the most unhealthy and delicious thing on hand. That is usually a nice hunk of chocolate flavored substance. Yorkie’s excuse is that “women have had chocolate for so long, and now it’s time for men to reclaim it.”

I’m a dude, and can vouch for most dudes out there. Chocolate has never been considered “manly”, meaning there’s nothing to reclaim. We’re too busy eating Slim Jim’s and Doritos. It’s a treat for everyone.

TL;DR version: Yorkie bars are chocolate, thus they must be for everyone. If the thing is going to be sexist though, it chose the wrong gender. Sterotypicaly, girls eat far more chocolate than dudes. But, that’s Yorkie’s problem. Emergency Chocolate seems to have the right idea…

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