Gareth, The One Defender


Listen to this while reading. It sets the mood…

Gareth sat at his desk with a mouse in hand. As usual, he was slowly scrolling up and down the flood forum. He pressed the refresh button every minute on the minute, searching for threads to protect. When reading a thread he would scan every reply waiting for someone to slip up; to break the rules and evoke his wrath. Gareth was quite used to this. It was his job.

While working Gareth was in full uniform. He wore a solid, dark blue formal suit with a matching tie. Upon his left breast were almost twenty different badges; all trophies for the great deeds he had preformed. His feet were covered by the blackest of leather shoes, and his hands were enclosed within the coziest of gloves. Upon his head sat a dark blue cap sporting the crest of his employer. His left arm was hugged by a red banner sporting the same, horrifying crest.

After almost five minutes of searching, Gareth found a victim. A user by the name of N00bsl@yerXx12 had made a horrid mistake. His reply to the thread made Gareth cringe. It was the most disgusting thing anyone, no, anything in existence could do. N00bsl@yerXx12 had used the word “there” when he obviously meant to use the word “they’re.”

Gareth smacked the “reply” button with his cruiser. He needed to show this ruffian how a real Floodian posted. It took less than a second for the white typing box to appear. Gareth’s fingers danced across his keyboard as he typed down the corrections needed, along with a witty one liner to make poor N00bsl@yerXx12 feel inadequate compared to the mighty Gareth. Once Gareth completed his masterpiece he clicked the “quote” button. He took one last look at his reply before submitting it. Gareth knew full well that if he made a mistake as well he would be disowned by his brothers.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gareth’s message popped into existence on the thread. It was directly under N00bsl@yerXx12’s post making it ever the more noticeable. Two more replies spotting the grammar mistake popped up right under Gareth’s.
My fellow’s, doing their duty as well. thought Gareth.

Gareth leaned back into his chair and chuckled. His layers of fat jiggled with his laughter. He launched his arm into the air and let out a cheer of joy.

This was a fine victory for The Grammar N@zis.

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