Trolling: A Newb’s Guide

If you are reading this with the intent of learning how to troll, you must first hit yourself in the crotch about nine times before continuing.

***

Done? Alright. I had you do that because trolls are horrid creatures who frequently ruin internet experiences. However, due to popular demand, I have been asked to show my ten or so regular readers how to Troll. 

Step 1. On a forum, blog, or video make an absurd argument or statement that is either completely false, and/or bound to piss off large amounts of people. Use correct grammar whilst doing so.

Step 2. Defend said statement to the death. Always act as though you are right, and everyone else is wrong. When possible, correct the grammar mistakes of others. Never give in. If someone decides to play along with your charade, invite them warmly; there is strength in numbers.

Step 3. Be prepared with a spare account because doing this often will get you banned. Clear your cookies, and repeat.

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