Tolkien is a total bro

Well, maybe not a total bro. However, the man supports rule 32 of the bro code.

“A bro doesn’t allow another bro to get married until he’s at least 30.”

Tolkien is in full support of this rule based upon his writing on two levels. First, Tolkien spawned the most powerful and wide spread culture of nerdery on earth. Ever. His books created a culture in which, for a time, any fan of it could not acquire a girlfriend for a very, very long time. (However, nerds and geeks are now total chick magnets, and this reason has since been negated.)

Secondly, Lord of the Rings is completely against marriage. While it may not seem like this at first, one must remember what the fellowship is attempting to destroy. A group of manly men go out on a quest to destroy a magical, evil ring. This ring looks completely innocent because it looks like….

A wedding band. The guys all go out of their way to destroy a wedding ring that embodies the most evil force known to Middle Earth. In conclusion, Tolkien is looking out for guys everywhere, by keeping you un-wed for a while. What a Bro.

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