A Scientific Study

Recently skittles and I started playing an old favorite, Sonic Adventure Battle 2. While playing this game I noticed a few things that made me question the rating it was given. For those who don’t know, it was rated E for Everyone. The first thing I found odd was when you first come to the chao garden you find two eggs. Despite the fact that you have no prior engagement with these eggs, you claim them as your own. The second thing I question is why the hell is there a black market in a kindergarten in an E rated game?! Finally I found it very disturbing the amount of DRUGS that are in this game.

Throughout the game you collect little colored viles. When you feed these to your chao it increases their swimming abilities, their strength, speed etc… basically you constantly give your chao drugs to make them better. While playing I discovered who the characters really are. Knuckles is a pimp. If you take a good long look at him you can not tell me that he doesn’t look like one. In the levels that you play as Knuckles there is rap music that reminds me of pimps. Tails fights against robots. In this game robots drop the viles or drugs. For this reason I have decided that he is a drug dealer, peddling the juice to minors,  Since Sonic is always on speed he is the one who buys from tails, and is his only customer other than underage chao.

The evil characters, Shadow, Eggman, and Rouge, persona’s are almost identical. There are a few key differences though. Rouge, Knuckles’s opposite, is not a pimp but rather a prostitute, the amount of eye shadow, makeup and the abnormal size of her rack suggests that she is in fact a prostitute. Eggman, being Tails’s opposite, used to be a drug dealer until his main consumer, Shadow, quit drugs. Shadow quitting speed explains why he needs the chaos emeralds to warp him around. This also explains why he is dark, gloomy, shadowy and angry/grumpy.

In conclusion, we see that this game has various underlying themes that are influencing children. Does this make all games bad? No, it does not. Other games are very straightforward with the fact that children shouldn’t play them until they reach a certain level of maturity.

Research by Sgt. Skittles and Penguin Boy, written by Penguin Boy, edited by Glasses Guy (For grammar, and addition of conclusion.)


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